my one baby girl.

yes, my April Lautner fall sick, and this is the first time she visits the vet not because of skin problem, but sick. like literally. she puked and pooped multiple time since morning after everybody left the house. my pity girl must’ve called out to us when she puked but have no one responding to her. i feel really bad now. i bath her right when i reach home and then feed her a little of her favorite vitamin, but for the first time, she refused to take them in. i became even worry then decided to feed her a little of the raw food. and lucky enough, she took them in. i was happy to see her eating(cause before that, all she puked was some yellowish thingy with bubbles). then came the poop. sigh… i cannot wait for her to recover herself anymore. i took her to the vet immediately after that. doctor said she caught cold and it affected her stomach therefore she puked and pooped. it was a relieve when the dr said it wasnt a severe problem. i swear, for that slight moment i thought i was gonna lose my deary april. oh, she puked in my car too. sigh… but thank god she’s fine for now. im feeding her some dietary food that the vet recommend. cause he said this food can cure upset stomachs, so yeah, i bought them home and i dont see her puking or pooping out those watery thingy. so i think Hill’s products does work! when i felt really emo sitting with April right beside, thinking what would actually happen if she really leave me, she ran around playfully, disturbing me with her tail, rubbing her face at me then lie infront of me looking at me, just as if like she was trying to make me happier. she even put her paws on my hand trying to comfort me and telling me she’s alright. i really thank god for giving such a great puppy. u know what? i take back all my xmas wishes, i just want my baby girl to get well soon before i leave for turkey.

mama loves you, my lovely April! *muah*

why am i still single?

yes i often ask myself this question over and over again too! *hi5 if you do the same!* but normally, the very very usual answer that came to your mind would be, come on, he’s just not here YET. but have you thought about whether or not will he EVENTUALLY comes? what if he doesnt? i havent thought about that until today. i have to admit, i am irresponsible and that might be just the reason why im still single. i have a fairly acceptable reasons behind this which is, i get distracted easily, for e.g i might be talking to you on msn when im watching my favorite (or any random) movies/dramas, when the drama gets too overly excited, i tend to just look at the tv and not taking a glance at my lappie(or i might just shut it down without checking)(oh btw, i do the same to my phone too!). secondly, im really forgetful. for e.g i might tell you, “hey baby, imma go bath now, ill get back to you later”, sometimes i DO get back to you later but “later” would be long termed or sometimes, just couldn’t be bothered. so now all of you know why your messages are not replied, or so i said, sent to the outer space?

many of my friends have came about to tell me that i dont reply messages or do not do what i should or maybe i just forget about things that ive promised. it is about time for me to really think about this problem(or behavior) that i should seriously change. maybe i am this irresponsible cause im not committed to anything else than my baby April. nothing in my life is worth much more than my family and April. (almost forgot about family. )  and yeah, i am selfish. im selfish for myself. so? dont you dare tell me that you are not a tiny winy bit selfish for yourself! once you get dumped(or cheated) you’ll learn how to be selfish for YOURSELF! if you’ve never yet been dumped(or cheated), dear junior, you’re still have lotsa things to learn. i am NOT cursing anyone to get dumped or cheated, im just, simply stating the truth! i mean, truth does hurt! but who wont learn from getting hurt? e.g you climb trees, then you fall, will you climb trees anymore? NO!(if you said yes, slap yourself, cause i think ure being rather silly or you’re simply psycho cause you like getting hurt!)

okay, im sliding reallllyyyyy far from my topic here. *oops* back to the point. im still single cause my expectations are really too high which makes most guys being afraid to come for me. but hey, i just wanted something like taylor lautner, isit too hard? (JUST KIDDING!) i just want them to be sweet, caring, friendly and loves me for who i am. of course with looks that’s look-able if you get what i meant. not to ugly obviously. ill be seeing him everyday neh! second, this is really my problem, a major one indeed. i really hate commitments. not that i cant stop flirting around when im hooked or married. obviously ill jaga jaga when im not single right? *rolleyes* what i meant is, i just dislike guys who will kip messaging you messages like “honey, where are you? with who? girl/boy? what time come home?” and what i especially hate is when i dress up abit too low or what not, they will go, “honey, i forbid you to where clothes like this anymore!” i mean, i really dislike guys who control me or rather, change me? i like being who i am, i like dressing the way i want, i just dont like to be controlled. that’s also a reason why i always back out from guys that i like once i know they do share the same feelings. im just afraid of getting hurt, afraid of losing something i love dearly, afraid of being cheated like i once did! it’s just something i could nvr ever get over with! that’s just how deep the cut was! that damage have been done. i just need someone who can mend all my pain and could let me trust him fully without any hesitations. why isit just so hard to find someone like that? dear God, pls, grand my wish this coming christmas!

uninspired;

im so blardy uninspired nowadays. sorry to those of you who come to my blog often!

i sorta actually thought of moving my blog back to blogger. cause wordpress is really, BORING! those themes are so dull and guess wad? to chg the CSS you have to buy some shyts in order to do so. wtf right? i know!

anyway, im here to inform you guys tat,

IM FREE FROM EXAMS! no more retakes no more stress. NO MORE EVERYTHING! just plain old, rotting at home until the results are out to see whether im in for undergrad or not. putting it to fate as ive done my best of the best. if i really din make it, i might be flying overseas or whatnot. afterall, the future is still unpredictable! unless ure like Alice(twilight), but u see, future chges when people’s decisions chg. so yeah! nothing is predictable. if i really have to say bye bye to n’ham, i’d just have to blame myself for not being good enough for such perfect uni. u might see me in USA, Aussie, UK or whatnots in say, few months time? cause my parents might not wanna see me, that’s why they throw me somewhere far far away! oh well, im joking. if it’s so, i might be the one who’d came up with tat. maybe i really have to explore&experience the unexpected.

(so much for “feeling uninspired“, ashley)

p.s i feel so comfortable around you. maybe u felt the same too, or was i thinking too much?

found this on the net the other day, wonder how my kids will look like in the future!

will i ever have one? will my kids be as cute?! (awwwwhs, i wish to know!)

BTW ; i posted a video of April doing tricks in the blog that i specially made for her, here it is!

CLICK HERE