friends should just stay friends..

ive been feeling like as if im on a roller-coaster ride this few weeks. Ive been thinking and thinking about what i should and shouldn’t do. Since I’ve been doing what people want me to for all these while, ive decided to make my own decision.

First up, im gonna pass my degree no matter what then move on to another degree in Switzerland. If im able to get a job there, i guess i should just stay there permanently. Pay is not that bad despite the high living standard. lol.

Second, never ever date bestfriends anymore. went with both my bestfriends and it really dint turn out well. Get “love at first sight” or something (if they truly exist). not that my bestfriends are of bad qualities, they are good people(really really good ones) but i guess they are just not meant(and made) for me. You can never force love. So, its better if things stop right there, right at the bestfriend boundary. 🙂

Little dedication ahead…

You ( yeah you, bestfriend),

I’m sorry i didn’t try to hold on to our relationship. Ive been really selfish to have kept u for a month, i should have let go earlier than that. I thought time will change everything, even love. But the outcome has proved me wrong. I know love is something that nobody can actually force so i let you go. It’s okay that you’ve never love me, you might have mistaken like as love. I might be just someone you can actually talk to and share some stuffs to, that’s why you mistook this as love and thought we could actually get together. I wont hate you, because you’re not the only one who made the wrong move. Not that i really don’t trust you, you’ve never really try to understand yourself or know what you truly feels. But dude, you still like her. She’s still there. You can NEVER take anyone in if you don’t remove all your feelings for her. Well of course, its not something you can remove in a day or two, sometimes months or years. Ive been there, done that. I know how hard it is. Ive waited for mine and only finally removed mine after a few years. Good luck. 🙂

P.s will blog about baby april’s bday soon! 🙂

yes, i was in a car accident.

alright, to those of you who doesn’t know about it, you’ll get the answer today.

on the 13th December 2011, it’s not only Aunty Ann’s birthday, but it was when the most memorable event happened. Nate, Kw, Marcus and i were in the car, on the way to TTS, to find out that the traffic light isnt working. we were at the t-junction, seeing that there’re no cars in the opposite direction, we took the turn to TTS slowly. Just then we saw a viva accelerating towards the passenger side of our car without stopping, it crashed the passenger side of my car. The force was so strong that my whole car sort of moved side-ways (like how a crab moves) and hit another car on my side(i was driving). So my car is practically damaged to a certain stage that 3 of the doors cannot open and 2 of the doors on the passenger side is dented really inside and TORN! no idea how metal can tear. All the glasses on those 2 doors broke into pieces and i have no idea what happens after. everything was in a mess. as i try to recall i can only remember that i actually tried to approach the another driver to see if they are okay, but the woman scolded me back with really harsh tone while her family was getting her son out of the car. Her son, was the driver and was actually crying in pain. ive to admit that i was really scared and i was shivering like crazy. I tried to hold back my tears but as i started to call for help i just couldn’t hold them in. i was too confused and afraid that i would be jailed and the driver might die(or something). within a minute or so, that place is crowded with people and police. as soon as my bro came, he sorta tried to calm me down(but it doesnt work) then my mum came, and we went to the police station to lodged a report. Then to realise that the Viva has an expired road tax. so, i wasnt completely in a deep shit. 😡 thank god all of us were safe! and that my parents dint scold me but try to calm me down and was worried that i have some phobia or something. which i REALLY have after that. 2 day after i have to complete my assignment and do my listening test. I seriously dunno how i still can get my head into studies after all that. oh did i mention the whole accident happened 3 days before i have to fly to Korea? yeah, so i did have some relaxation in korea to put my mind off the thoughts. i just drove ytd again. i think im slightly recovering. 🙂 and about my car, i dun think ill be seeing my Goldie Lock again. Papa said he’s gonna change my car. so… till then, im car-less. sigh…..

to knowledge and beyond..

this is a very contradicting post. gah.. i want knowledge, but can i not school? 😦

i miss my holidays! i miss slacking and most of all, i miss hanging out at home all the time with April. i know i sound superb lifeless but, erm… that’s the way i live. lol.

well, this past few months, ive been thinking what friends really mean. and to that, i learnt that not everybody in your life would appear real to you, not everybody will actually bother to leave footsteps behind, and not everybody will truly treat and like you for who you are. living in this century, being the people living in it.. pls dont bother to even think that friends are what you might really need, money is what truly loves you. Money will not bother if you’re a bitch, a coward, a liar, a princess etc… it will just stick with you and be yours till you spend them all. Family too, is who truly sticks with you even if you’re in superbly big trouble.

Dear Friend, don’t fall for those lies that they hve told, dont be too naive to think that all the friends around you are true, look deeper within and you’ll finally remove their mask to finally see what they truely are. if you need a partner for the roller-coaster ride, here.. you can have me. 🙂

But, if you have a true&great bff, you’re truely blessed. ❤